from the short story "Phenomena," by Ron Carlson

"First of all, I’m not one of these people who ever wanted to see a UFO, an unidentified flying object. I have never wanted to see an unidentified anything. The things in my life, I identify, that’s good with me. I’m not one of these people who is strange or weirded-out over unexplained phenomena. I don’t want any phenomena at all, and we’re lucky in Cooper, because there isn’t much phenomena. About the time there is a little phenomena, I identify the phenomena and throw them in jail."

published originally in the book News of the World